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posted on: January 26, 2009 11:21pm
Summary: Should I stay at home, or is it time to start my own life?
Dear Satanico P. Squirrel ,
I'm a college student living at home rent free. However, I am very restricted living here; at 21 I have a curfew of 9:00 pm, am expected to drop any personal plans to "help out" whenever it is requested, and am constantly walking on egg shells around the "evil step-mother" for fear of her finding something insignificant to bother me about (for example, an art piece that she found inappropriate, although it was on a shelf in my room). She has even gone as far as requesting that I give them money weekly, so that she knows that the little money I make is going to school payments and not to unnecessary things (such as clothes and other frivolous items).
It's not as if I have done anything to warrant this treatment; I'm a good student paying for my own education and have never been the rebellious type.
My friend is wanting for the two of us to move in together (fairly soon) for a little much needed space and control in our perspective lives. The only problem is that I would like to continue my education, and living at home is the least expensive way of doing this. Finding a place of my own would require finding a full time job, buying a car, and making enough money to pay for monthly rent, food and other necessities. But with the way things are at home, working myself to death seems a small price to pay for a little more freedom in my life.
Should I try to make it in the big, scary adult world on my own, or should I stay at home and risk being a paranoid hermit for the rest of my life?
Signed,
Fragile Shut-In
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replied on: January 30, 2009 7:36pm
Dear Fragile Shut-In,
The world is a scary place. Businesses, families and even friendships can prove it. I can prove it more because I design my own weapons, a business partner builds them, friends of mine deliver them and I use them on whole families.
The rule for wicked stepmothers...that's easy. Read any children's book. There are over 900 fairy tales where the villain is a wretch of a stepmother, and each time, somebody like me comes along and kills the fuck out of them. Unlike Prince Valiant, I charge $50,000 dollars and could care less if some hot chick is involved. And the hell with walking on eggshells around her. Make her walk on thumbtacks around you. Really...throw a bunch of thumbtacks on the floor at night because surely she gets up a time or two and doesn't bother to turn on the light. Also, don't ever feel that because you are good or proper in life that you don't warrant negative attention. You're exactly the type that is attractive for it. Positives and negatives attract. North Pole and South Pole holding the world together. Santa Claus is equally as magic as John Carpenter's The Thing. Magnets and shit, too. You can't argue that. Anytime you want to dispute that, just remember that assholes who own energy corporations are rich...and you aren't.
I say, go ahead and move out, but don't worry about a job. Just keep an ad running in the papers for a roommate, have them meet you at a completely different (abandoned) residence at night and then rob and kill them. It really does generate a consistent income. There are high volume months like when college first starts up, or there's mid-semester, which rather comes across like getting a Christmas bonus, so that's always cool. If your friend is up for it, too, well...you've got your own incorporation then, don't you? You'll be on your way to screwing people over just as bad as any other successful company. Fuck college...learn by getting your hands dirty!
Until next time,
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