We all sat in a large circle in the middle of the spacious café, some fifty of us uniformly dressed in black, each taking a turn introducing ourselves. It was the thirty-first Chicago Goth Meet-up, hosted by the incredibly kind Scary Lady Sarah.

Seated close to me was a lithe young woman who introduced herself as Susan Hooper. She went on to describe herself as a circus performer, a profession not too many of us get to claim as our own. I was immediately intrigued as to how someone might get involved in the profession of circus performing and be a Goth.

Susan was thrilled to give us, the friends and guests of Chateau Grrr, a lengthy interview, the first this interviewer has done in person! The Mercury Café, home to the Chicago Goth Meet-up, was the location of our interview. The sound of grinders, blender, and vegans aplenty was the backdrop to our enjoyable chat.

Susan, have you always been inclined to be a performer?

When I was a kid I always was active in things like dance and cheerleading...but I also did sports too! I loved learning and being on stage in the lights and costumes. There was just something about that. Even after I stopped doing those activities, or when they weren’t in season, I would still play dress-up as a kid with my friends. We would put on shows for our families.

What inspired you towards circus performance?

Ironically enough, Ringling always came to town around the time of my birthday. They would always be here at the beginning of November. It became this tradition to go so I made the association that if it’s my birthday, it’s time to go to Ringling. Yay!!

As I got older and started having sleep-over parties, I think when I was eleven years old, my friends would ask, “What do you want to do?” And I would always say “I want to go to the circus for my birthday!!” My friends had the attitude that “You’re eleven... and you want to go to the circus?” I was like “Yeah!”

So we did a group trip to the circus. There was a Ringling clown doing walk-around that I have a picture with. My parents have one of those collage frames hanging on the wall of their home, which includes the picture of me with that clown!

When did you make the leap from admiring circus performers to learning to become one?

In high school, maybe sophomore or junior year, we had to make one of those stupid lists of life goals, one of the things I listed as always wanting to do was learn how to walk on stilts. You never think everything on those lists will come about.

My freshman year at college, I was seeing a TA for a class. She said she had to cut early because she had to go to practice. When I asked what practice it was, she said “Circus practice.” I responded with great intrigue “Circus practice?!”

So I got excited and asked all about it. It turns out that where I went to school, Illinois State University, has one of the oldest running collegiate circuses. When I started, the circus was called Gamma Phi Circus, but now due to funding changes, it’s known now as the Illinois State University Circus. That circus is actually where I got my start and performed in it for three year.

Does your family think that you’ve “run away and joined the circus” in a manner?

My family is very supportive. They always come out to a bunch of my shows.

My mother’s proud of my circus performing. All parents want their kid have this big amazing job. They always encouraged the pursuit of education, but are happy that I still find ways to have fun. The big joke between my folks and I is that they paid all this money for my education and what did I do, I became a clown.

My mother’s favorite story she loves to tell everybody is a gig that I did at R. Kelly’s private house party. She’ll say “Tell me who that person is, the one that messed with the kids, got in trouble, and went to jail” and I’ll answer “R. Kelly” and she’s like “YEAH! She did a performance for R Kelly!” I find it very amusing that despite all the gigs I have done, she tells that one the most. Go figure.

Do you have any other employment outside of your performing?

I have a “normal” job. I have my Master’s Degree in Social Work. I work part-time at a social service agency for the elderly. I work part-time so I can have a consistent paycheck and health insurance so I can still have the opportunity to perform. It allows me to rearrange my schedule, so if a circus or performance gigs comes up, I’m free to take it.

I do two different jobs where I work. I do a data entry job where I input all the materials that the case managers do and then I am a substitute case manager that entails working at the hospitals and the nursing homes. We complete evaluations with seniors who need rehab services.

Do they know of your performing career at your day job?

No. Not the clientele. The majority of my office knows because I’ve posted fliers. They want to know about events, so I’ll send out emails at work. The director of the social services and the previous executive director came to my Triton Trouper Circus show this year with some of their grandchildren. That was the first time they ever saw me perform. That was really cool.

Little by little, my staff members are starting to make it out to shows. They got a kick out of my clown costume and performance.

We met at one of Scary Lady Sarah’s Gothic Meet-ups here in Chicago. What is your tie to the Gothic scene?

I don’t 24/7, but Goth is my main love: the attire, music, the whole thing. I have all the stuff: the shoes, the tights, the skirts, the chains. I never feel like a complete goth without my hair being done, but because of the field I’m in, I can’t do that. I would love to walk around with blue or purple hair, but I can’t. I hate not being able to color my hair.

When did you get into Goth?

I discovered the Gothic scene when I was fifteen in high school. A friend of mine went to a club over the summer. When we met back up at school, she said to me “Oh my god! You have to come to this club.” Of course, I said okay.

Prior to finding the Goth scene, I was the grunge kid, which my parents absolutely loved. They loved me going around with flannel and leather jackets and combat boots (note: this was before she became a vegetarian). They just thought it was the greatest. [interviewer’s note: this was dripping with sarcasm] But let me tell you, they probably would have been happier if I had kept grunging instead of gothing.

What places catered to the Goth crowd at the time?

There was this under-age club out in Gilbert near Huntley. It was open two nights. Fridays it was a dance club and Saturdays it was a Goth club called Gargoyles. When it was a dance club, it was called something else. It was this youth Goth night. Anybody of any age could come, but there was no alcohol. It was intended for youth. I just fell in love. I found my calling and never went back.

When did you start hitting the Chicago clubs?

I started going to Neo when I was nineteen (shhhh don’t tell anyone). Like a lot of people in the Chicagoland area, I got introduced by somebody in the scene. He got me into the Chicago clubs. Neo was the main one. I was underage, but they over-looked it. I will say that I was really responsible though. I wouldn’t drink because I was coming from the suburbs and had to drive home trying to keep my eyes open.

Eventually, I discovered Exit. The bad part about Exit now, you can’t dance there which ruined that.

And then the occasional clubs would pop up here and there. It’s great to have the permanent clubs, but there were other people who tried. They would make an attempt to make the scene and it just wouldn’t last. It was a shame. People stuck with the main ones.

Where do you go now?

With the exception of Scary Lady Sarah and the Nocturnas and Mistress Xena doing the Naughty Playgrounds, there’s not too much now. At the last Meet-up there were a couple fifteen or sixteen year old high school kids. They were absolutely beautiful. I wasn’t even that full scale. I couldn’t do the hair. I did the make-up and the clothes, but some of them at the Meet-up had hair! One girl had a Mohawk. Freaking incredible I wish there was somewhere for them to go.

There’s no place now for kids under the drinking age?

I think there’s the the Orphanage. It’s the building next to the Church on the Southside. They have dance and other functions there, but as far as I know, there’s really nowhere full on goth for them to go. I want to make them all eighteen so they can go to Nocturna. It’s nice that they have the Meet-up and other gatherings. To be able to go with the well-dressed and experience the music among the Goth people, the atmosphere and the fog machines...to be in that is a great feeling.

Have you performed at any clubs or shows?

I’ve done a bunch of clubs like Blarney Island, Heat, Ontourage, Abby Pub. I’ve done other events such as the Akira fashion show, Arlington Race Track, Turner Hall Circus Ball, Big Summer Classic Music Festival. I’ve performed in shows with Forms In Motion including going to NY to act in Journey of the Arabella, which is a pirate circus play. I’ve done so many different things, it’s been awesome. It’s overwhelming, but I’ve been so fortune to be part of some really great stuff.

That’s quite a range! Have you performed for any haunted houses?

I have been in the haunted scene. I worked for a company called JPM productions. They are the company who does the Fright Fest at Great America. I worked for that company for six years and did Fright Fest for all of those years. I also did Mardi Gras, Kids Fest, and promotional stuff. That was a lot of fun. Very good experience working a large venue, but very difficult because they have long hours. It’s hard work.

What specifically were you doing at Fright Fest?

The first two years I worked there, I did a stage show called Jenny’s Nightmare. It was about a girl who ate candy before she went to bed even though her mother told her not to. We were her nightmare. There was a couple of evil clowns, a gremlin, a ringmaster, and I was the puppet master. I came out on stilts.

And then for two years I did a jester character. And the last two years, I did an evil clown character.

How repetitive is it doing a show like that night after night?

The show was easy and was my favorite in all the years I performed there. It was a fifteen to twenty minute show and we did it four times a day. It was an absolute blast.

Was it a positive experience doing a big venue like that?

To this day, even though I’m not at Great America any more, I still keep in touch and hang out with my groupies I met there. People become a fan of your work and they will come back so excited to see you. That’s what performing is about: making people happy and really enjoying what you do. You know they enjoy what you do if they come back.

It became this regular thing in all the years I was there. Every weekend, they would come and see me and hang out in the area that I worked. They would give me picture albums and gifts. I would go their birthday parties and graduations. That’s what it’s all about. I loved those people and they are some of my great friends.

For me, when I did the show, that’s what I liked to do. That is my main passion to be on stage and perform for a large amount of people. That’s why I like doing Triton Troupers Circus and El Circo Cheapo at Aloft Loft. It’s just a group of people who watch you and truly enjoy themselves. And I enjoy doing it for them.

The other four years I was just a roaming character. It’s totally different experience being a roaming character.

Is there any downside to doing a large venue like that?

My first year, they were letting us walk around in between shows. That was my first experience with the stilts in a big venue like that. Some jerk tried to push me over while I was on the stilts. It was a real wake-up call to people’s rudeness towards safety and performers and what they do. And it still happens.

How do you handle jerks like that?

I’m better aware of it now and pay closer attention to my surroundings and people. I don’t let that sour me, but I’m aware of it. After that incident, they didn’t let me walk around on stilts out in the streets. It wound up being a couple of years before they put stilts back on the actors list. They wound up being werewolves on spring stilts.

Tell us a bit about clowns if you would. What’s the secret behind those big clown shoes?

The secret to clown shoes is having a padded toe area. Up until your toes the shoe fits to your foot like any other shoe. Once the shoe reaches your toes is when it extends out. From the top of your toes on is all filled with padding.

My shoes came from Clown-So-Port, but there are other clown shoe companies out there. I was at a clown convention and they were one of the dealers there. They made a drawing of my foot including measurements. With their help, I picked the style, design and colors so my clown shoe is custom fit and custom styled. It does take a little practice walking in them and using stairs too.

What about a clown’s make-up? What significance does a clown’s face hold?

The face types of clowns are part of clowning history established a long time ago. There is the Auguste which is the closest to a flesh color, but a little more pink or orange. Then there’s the white face, and finally the tramp or hobo. Those are the three main faces. The tramp and hobo are both in the same category but have their own somewhat different personalities, ways of acting, and how their costumes are designed.

A clown’s type also dictates the costume and acting. There can be a combined type of styles called a character clown. They could be a hobo baseball player or a white face forest ranger. The character type is a personality that’s embellished.

I saw a gorgeous flapper one time. She had the costume and make-up, but what made it were her high-heeled shoes. She had high-heeled pointed shoes that were twice as long as normal.

So you could be Auguste or white-face, but have a theme on top of that?

Yes. It would just be an exaggerated character on top of one of the clown face types. With Auguste and white-face, they have their own specific structure to them. Whether they’re solid stripes, polka dots, the way the costume is set up. Even white-face can be broken down into sub-categories; classic or comedy.

Is it fun going back and forth between a fun clown and a dark clown?

It’s actually a conflict of interest. With the nice clowning, I’m in organizations that have a code of ethics and conduct that you’re supposed to uphold. One of those ethics is to not do what I did at Fright Fest, portray the evil side of something that is supposed to be good, not to bringing horror to people and preying on their fears. As much as I had fun, there was some guilt to it.

There’s some part of me that felt bad, but at the same time, that’s what Fright Fest is about...preying on your fears. So if you’re idiot enough to come to Fright Fest and pay to have that happen, then it’s not like I just dressed up and went out on the street and started scaring people. These people willingly knew they were coming to this. They paid to come to this.

Now when they’re running around like they’re terrified. Of course, we are going to go right after them. Those are the people we pick on; the people that are obviously scared.

There’s a recognized fear of clowns termed coulrophobia, correct?

Yes, there are people who have coulrophobia and that happens a lot, even when I’m nice. Anywhere from babies to grown adults.

What’s been the harshest reaction?

Running away screaming in fear. I remember one time in college, I was getting ready to leave for a gig. Some friends came into the bathroom, went “Oh shit”, turned around, and left. They knew exactly who I was, but because I was in make-up, they had to leave. That’s not uncommon.

People may know who you are, but they can’t see past the clown. It’s very fascinating. With adults, it’s possible to work with them. Kids it’s very difficult. If a kid is scared, you’re better off to leave them alone. If you try, it will make it worse.

Where does that stem from do you think?

In true clowning, you don’t show any skin. Your legs are covered with your socks. You’re hands are covered with your gloves. Your make-up theoretically should cover your neck, your face, and your ears. You have no flesh showing. It’s the illusions that the person under the make-up isn’t a person, but a creature, something mystical. Even with the Auguste, people will still be uncomfortable.

What’s been the most memorable experience you’ve had while performing?

I love when I’m a good enough performer that somebody remembers me. Sometimes I’ll be at a Triton event or doing a parade and someone will exclaim “I saw you at that show!”

I love that if I’m good enough or memorable enough that when they see me somewhere else, they know who I am; they remember my name. Sometimes I’ll be talking to somebody and a kid will run up and give me a hug. I love that whether it’s nice clowns or sideshow stuff.

I love that having pictures taken of me, I might wind up in somebody’s photo album and become a part of their memory, a part of their history, a part of their life. I think that’s the coolest part. You take a photo and maybe when that kid grows up and they look through their scrapbook, I’m in that scrapbook or hanging on a wall in someone’s home.

Do you have any anxieties about performing?

I’ve always wanted to do theatre, but I’m so chicken when it comes to memorizing lines. In high school, I was a techie in theatre and lived vicariously through the theatre people. The circus is one way to be on-stage and perform without having to worry about line memorization.

Forms in Motion, that I mentioned earlier, I had a couple lines I had to memorize. Of course the person who worked on the script decided to make up some nonsensical Shakespearean lines for me to say. I was already freaked out about having to say lines, and then I had to say it Shakespearean with the “thee’ and the “thou”. So I made due, conquered the fear, and did it. People laughed and it was all good.

When you’re performing, what’s going through your mind?

I’m always making sure that I look at faces and bodies to make sure that people are understanding what I’m doing or saying. If I’m just doing a presentation, I can make less contact, but if I’m doing a larger performance, it’s a lot more important. I really have to listen. Sometimes it’s hard to listen because I’m so focused on doing what I’m doing, but I try my best to listen. Do I hear laughter or do I hear crickets? If I’m hearing crickets, then I’m not doing something right and need to go back to the drawing board.

How does that affect your performance?

I vibe off the crowd. There are some people who don’t change their act; this is how they do it and no matter how people react, that’s what they do. Mine, I have an outline, but it’s always different. I always feel the vibe of the crowd and work with the crowd. That is so important in my opinion.

Sometimes, if I’m nervous about my stuff, and if I have the opportunity, I may even do little pre-show bit to goof off and interact with the crowd, sit on their laps, play with their hair, just to see how they react and know how they’re going to be when I do the main stuff.

Do you ever find particular people who are really relating and focus in on them or use them to bring out the crowd?

It depends on what I’m doing. The love scene when you bring out the strapping lad or, even better, the bigger bald guy. Bald always works. You sit on their lap and pretend like you’re playing with their hair, but they have no hair. You shine and kiss their head. People just go silly for that. They go ape crazy for it. Bald is always funny. Sorry guys; bald is funny.

Do you have a performance name that you go by?

When I’m clowning, I go by Sweetie. When I do my general non-clown face, I usually go by Sizzle. My stilt character is called High Five (I give high fives..der). And usually when I do my late night clubbing sideshow fetish stuff, I go by Sweet Sin.

Where do you go for training when you’re ready for new skills?

Out in the suburbs, there is Elk Grove Gymnastics that has an open circus night that’s really cheap. I head over there to work on skits. There are people around there that help you train. It’s around five bucks for the night and you practice for a couple hours and then come home. Ripped skin and bruises, but you learn. That’s where I started trying to work on my aerial stuff.

Open gyms, classes, clubs. One of the clown clubs that I’m in is where I do a lot of volunteer work. We do a lot of parades and charity events. I recommend doing the parades if people want to test out costuming or skits or skills. They’re super simple, but it’s a good positive crowd and they’re a really great place to start.

The Triton Trouper Circus is also a really great way to get some starter skills. There are other circus schools in the Chicagoland area of course and they’re great schools that offer fantastic classes, but sometimes people don’t have a lot of money to pay for these classes. Joining Triton to get some basic skills so you know what to prepare for makes it easier to then take these other fantastic classes.

Can anyone attend Triton? Even a beginner?

Absolutely. Somebody who has no experience in acting, performing, gymnastics, circus can go to this. Cold turkey.

How long have you been with the Triton Trouper Circus?

I’ve been with the Triton circus for seven years. We just finished our show in the beginning of April. Because it’s through a community college, it’s considered a continuing education course. You pay a one-time fee and you’re a lifetime member of the circus.

It’s a semester of school so we usually start in January right after New Years. We practice for three months, two nights a week. Then we put on a show. We do four shows and our season is over.

In general, there is something for everybody if anybody is interested in any of this stuff. I am in a couple of clown clubs in the local suburban area. There are circus classes in the Chicagoland area. Magicians, puppetry, ventriloquism, juggling. If you’re really interested in it, there’s a lot to offer in the Chicago area. And they’re more than welcome to contact me if they’d like more information.

How often do you pick up new talents or acts?

That is something I’m trying to work on. When it comes to me, I know a little of a lot of things. That’s good for parties and parades and charities. But if you really want to get the major gigs like shows and burlesque and clubs and mainstream stuff, it’s really better to be specialized in maybe one, two, or three things. That’s what they really want. They want that aerial act or they want you to do a juggling piece. I’m working on that. I found that if I really want the big stuff, I do need to include an aerial act in my bag of tricks.

How long does it take you to incorporate a new act?

It’s takes a while. All these skills that you have to pick-up take a long time to learn. People spend years on putting a performance piece together. It’s just me getting enough courage to take all the little pieces I have and put something together. I am working on it.

I have this comedy/acro bit. It’s kind of like a slapstick bit with a partner of mine that we’ve created. We’re working on it. We actually just performed it at Aloft’s El Circo Cheapo and it had a good reception, lot of laughs, and positive remarks. It’s heading in the right direction.

What about maintenance? You have a large stable of talents at your beck. How often do you have to practice each to say on top of them?

If you have the skills down, it’s a lot like riding a bicycle. They say you never forget how to do it. Some skills like balloons can come and go. I pull them back out a couple days before a gig and refresh myself. I have videos and books. Get the oil in there and crank it. Same thing goes with juggling.

It depends on how good you want to be and how much natural skill you have. I could use more practice. I have a duo act, but I would need to practice more if I wanted a solo piece.

Did you ever learn to walk on stilts as you had hoped in your high school goal list?

I did learn how to walk stilts when I was in Gamma Phi and now even own a set. I also learned clowning, which includes balloons, some face-painting, and other things that kind of revolve around that; make-up and costuming; wigs and movement. That’s also where I learned how to fire-breathe, juggle, and hair hang. It was a rare opportunity to do the hair hanging so I took it. I’m happy that I did it. It’s painful, but I was happy that I did it.

What exactly is hair hanging?

It is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. It’s your body, your hair, a rubber band, rope, some string, and a loop. There’s a special technique that’s used. Most of us took an Aleve or two before we tried it.

They take your hair and gather it to the top of your head with the rubber band. Utsing the string they tighten your hair tighter and tighter around your head until they gather it up all snug together. Then they take the string and braid it into your hair. At some point in the braid, they add the loop. And then they braid it back down along with the string and then tie it all off again. Basically you have this big lump of hair sticking from the top of your head.

Your loop then gets attached to a pulley system. In the Gamma Phi circus, we didn’t have pulley rigging to do it, so it was all done by guys in the show. It took a lot of practice to get the timing right. If they didn’t time it right, it was actually very painful because they would jerk you up and pull on your hair. In one swooping motion, when you would get to a certain point, then they would raise you up into the air.

A loop on your head and you’re flying through the air?

It didn’t start out that way. You first got trained in getting used to it being tied, and then before you actually got pulled up into the air, you had to practice on the unparallel bars. Our circus practices were held in the gymnasium at the school where there were unparallel bars. They would hook a loop on them and you would hang from the bars to get used to it. Once you were able to do two minutes without holding onto to anything, then they let you go up into the air.

In the Goth play scene, when someone tugs on my hair, I’m like “Come on! You can do it harder than that. I hung by that!”

You mentioned aerial as being something that the big shows want. Is that something you’ll be learning?

I just started working on trying to do aerial, but that’s way down the line. Right now I’m just learning the basic skills. I have to build up strength and endurance. And that’s not happening any time soon. It’s all very difficult. Some people come with natural talent like gymnastics, balance, coordination. All that stuff helps to learn the basic skills. To go beyond that requires a lot of practice. I’ve been performing for eleven years now. There’s a lot of hours in there, but you can always learn more.

Prior to a year ago though, I didn’t have health insurance, so I would keep myself to the ground. That’s why it’s taken so long to learn aerial acts. I don’t want to be up there till I’ve got something “down here”.

The point of the circus is to make it look easy. If it looks easy, you’ve done it right. I teach classes like basic juggling and face painting and globe walking. People make comments like “Man, I didn’t realize how hard it was.”

You mentioned that you have fire in your act. Tell us about that?

That’s what’s hard about the aspect of the sideshow piece that I do. I love to do fire, but it’s really hard to get fire gigs because of that whole club mishap. Now all the clubs are freaking out. The availability of fire gigs has lessened quite a bit. I have this beautiful table act that usually leads into my contact fire, eating, and breathing routine, but clubs are like “Nope. Can’t do that here.” So what am I supposed to do now?

I did the Les Claypool Oddity Faire and they didn’t really want the fire gig there either, but I did it. Just my finale tricks for the table. There’s a piece on the table where I light up a candelabra and there’s another piece where I light up a wick and normally go into the fire act, but instead I just ate the fire instead and that was the end.

Speaking of eating fire, what’s that like?

Hot! It’s definitely a rush. When you breathe fire, you feel the heat of the flame in your face and see this light. It’s a pretty cool thing. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s a great power to have. It’s a unique art form and I love that I know how to do it. I’m not going to tell you how to do it because it’s a circus secret. I can’t tell you how it’s done, but I will tell you that I don’t recommend using alcohol. No alcohol! Don’t go to a bar and be like “Look what I can do!” That’s bad. I use something specific for breathing and for fire equipment.

I have various equipment for fire pieces. Besides the eating and breathing, I also have torches for juggling. I have fans, a homemade jump rope, juggling balls which I don’t recommend because they’re really awful to use. Hand lamps. I usually use those as an intro for dancing into the act.

It sounds thrilling!

It’s a rush, but it’s also dangerous. You have to be very aware of your surroundings. Safety, people, alcohol. It’s real fire. There’s no trick to it. It’s the piece of equipment, real fire, and you. No trick. You are literally putting the fire into your mouth or into your hand. You’re blowing it in front of your face. What you see is what is actually happening.

I have seen people be badly burned because of one reason or another. They might have been taught improperly. I’ve even had a mishap myself. I was outdoors. Just as I went to breathe fire, the wind changed direction and it came back into my face. I singed myself, but it could have been a lot worse. I was very fortunate. I’ve seen where someone’s whole face went up.

It’s fun, but it’s not for everybody. You need to be very serious. I take safety very seriously when it comes to fire. I did perform at Scary Lady Sarah’s Saturnalia one year, but I only did the electric table.

If anyone is interested in fire, I recommend Spunn.org. They do Full Moon Fire Jams at Foster Beach. They also do classes too. If you’re brave enough.

What kind of accidents or injuries have you sustained while performing?

I have been fortunate that I haven’t had anything super major, but I have had some minor injuries. Most of them have been Triton accidents. It’s become this ritual that injuries always happen in dress rehearsal. It’s funny, but it’s also not so funny because right after dress rehearsal, you have to perform for the next three or four days.

One year, I fell out of the German wheel when I was already almost upside down. I hit my head and my back on the bar of the wheel and got a nice big lump.

I think the most serious injury I’ve ever had was the following year. The clowns were doing a pyramid that crashes. I was wearing my clown shoes and, for whatever reason, just came down wrong and messed up my ankle pretty bad.

When I fell, I remember I thought, “Oh, that kind of hurt.” And it just got progressively worse and worse. I elevated and iced it when I got home. At 4 o’clock in the morning, I woke up screaming and crying in pain, worried about what I was going to do because I had to perform later that day.

I was living with a boyfriend at the time and he actually walked to the Walgreens and picked up pain relievers, bandages, an ankle brace, tape... just a whole slew of stuff and brought it back. As tight as he could do it, he bound and strapped up my foot. I threw my clown socks and shoe over it and nobody knew the difference. I went and performed. That’s the thing. You just do it.

What about other performers? What injuries have you seen there?

I’ve seen some nasty injuries like people busting their noses and they’re still right in the next act. As the saying goes, the show must go on. You do it.

One year, a guy had a chair act where he’d stack chairs. While he was doing his piece, the chairs collapsed. The pulley system wasn’t set-up right and he just crashed right into the floor and busted his hip. Now he has permanent pins.

I’ve seen two people tear their bicep muscle, and people bust their ankle. Those are major cases where they wound up not being able to do the show. There are some instances where something happens, you go back stage, you tape it up, and you go back out and do your stuff. You just keep going.

What do you do in the event of injuries?

In the Triton show, clowns always have a back-up skit, usually some sort of dance skit in case someone gets injured. Fortunately enough we’ve never had to use it. The phrase “send in the clowns” means that if someone gets hurt, you send in the clowns to distract the audience while they take care of the injured person.

So you make back-up skits to use in the event that one of the clowns gets injured? Send in the clowns for the clowns?

No, the skits are created if one of the performers gets injured. We would have our regular skits for the show but then our emergency spares. If you’ve ever watched any old circus movies, they have the love relationship who wants to be manly and do this big major trick like crossing the wire with no net and he falls to his death. In the movies, the band starts up, the clowns run out and play with the audience while they take away the injured person.

Do you have special insurance needs as a circus performer?

I have insurance through the World Clown Association. That covers the clowning aspects of me. For instance, if a kid chokes on a balloon because they’re stupid enough to put it in their mouth. Or issues with face paints. Pretty much anything that involves clowning. I do not have anything that extends past that.

Unless I talk to the insurance company and prove that fire is part of my clown act, I’m not covered there. There is insurance that encompasses all of that, but I’ve never looked into purchasing it, though I really should. I know fire performers who have this insurance.

Is there also a big financial investment in circus performing?

It’s a very expensive job/hobby/passion to have because everything is not cheap. You never have enough costuming and you can never have enough equipment and you can never have enough make-up. If you want a starter clown costume, that will cost at least three hundred dollars. My clown shoes that I wear cost me three hundred dollars. Wigs, fifty dollars. A set of juggling clubs, ninety bucks. That’s not counting all the aerial rigging people may need which might be five hundred plus for each piece of aerial equipment.

It has to be a true passion and you really really have to want it because it is definitely heart, mind, physical, mental commitment. That’s the thing about performing in the circus...if you love it that much, you’ll do it no matter what.

How many shows are you doing annually?

It really varies. I am very fortunate with my one website, being with agencies and a couple of circus companies. I often let events come to me. I’ve been very blessed with the gigs that I’ve gotten.

Are there talent agencies of sorts that can help you find gigs?

I am with a couple of agencies, but I don’t use them that often or seek them out. I prefer to work my own magic. With an agency, you’re under what they want you to do. They also take a cut. With a couple companies I work with, I can usually get the rate that I want, but they also charge whatever they’re going to charge too which makes it a little hard sometimes because between my rate and their rate added on, people will back out and you lose a gig.

Is there an average cost you can give? Say for a small birthday party or the like?

Usually on average, I charge $100 per hour. That includes travel time, performance, and supplies. Because I work part-time, I’m able to charge a lower amount than most. People who do it full time do charge more.

What has your experience been being a performer in the Chicago area? Does it have much to offer?

Chicago is an epicenter for circus performing. You have Aloft Loft, Actors’ Gymnasium, MSA & Circus Arts, and a whole handful of circus companies like Midnight Circus, Forms in Motion, Acrofabulous, Zoppe, a Chicago-based traveling Italian circus. This is really serious stuff here.

Has the poor economy affected clowning and performing here in Chicago?

Right now with the economy, there are so many performers out here that are having a hard time getting gigs. Last year I slowed down significantly even doing it part-time. The first thing that gets caught in a budget is entertainment.

What’s happening to the people who own their own businesses and solely do performing?

They’re really hurting. I just talked to a friend of mine who does magic and he said he had the worst quarter that he’s ever had. People are just not hiring. It seems like the people who are staying active are in the school and libraries.

What size performances are you available for?

Any size performance. Anyone can go to my website and use the contact form there.

What else does your website, performforthelove.com, offer folks?

It’s a whole mishmash of things. I was fortune to know someone who does web design. Andrew Bedno made my website for me as a gift. It needs to be updated, but it’s enough to get the idea across with the photo, resume, and “about me” sections.

People can contact me through my website, but I’m also on a Chicago entertainment website called ChicagoFun.com. It’s strictly Chicago so anyone looking for entertainment in the area can go onto this website and type in what they’re looking for...balloons, stilts, face-painting, air brushing, whatever it might be. A list of criteria will pop up and they can pick based on that.

I’ve heard that an event you’re involved with, Showmen’s Rest, is like a circus at a cemetery. What can you tell us about it?

It’s the official Chicagoland event to commemorate National Clown Week. It’s held during National Clown Week held at Showmen’s Rest in Woodlawn Cemetery in Forest Park. The Showmen’s Rest is a plot of the cemetery owned by the Showmen’s League of America that bury people who were with the circus or in the arts.

We hold our ceremony at the cemetery and pay tribute to the people buried there from the Hagenbeck-Wallace Circus. We do performances. It’s all free and open to the public. The cemetery provides a reception with refreshments after the event. I took this event over and organize and host it now.

What if I’m not ready to paint my face white and strap on the clown shoes, but I still want the giddy thrill of the big top?

There are some great old circus movies, like the Greatest Show on Earth and Freaks. They’re wonderful movies. Check this list I put together if you want some great old circus movies.

What are your long-term goals as a performer?

Long-term dreams, I want to perform for Cirque de Soleil. For a long time, my dream was to perform for Ringling, but I’ve had a conflict of interest since becoming a vegetarian and with all the animal issues. I love the traditional American circus, but I’m a little more artsy-fartsy person that I like what Cirque de Soleil does, the abstractness of it. It’s a little more free form, not so structured. I’m a little bit obsessed with Cirque.

As far as obsessions go, that sounds like a wonderful one to have. We wish you the best of luck with all your performances, training, and your dream of being with Cirque de Soleil, Susan! Thanks so much for sharing your talents with the world and taking the time to talk with us at Chateau Grrr.