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| Being Invisible is far more bearable than being rejected. |
SUBMITTED BY: elizadeth
SUBMITTED ON: February 20, 2009 |
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| TYPE: |
| Journal |
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| GENRE: |
| Romance |
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| DEDICATION: |
| Stalking Hot Long Haired Guys |
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| STORY: |
The object of my attention, he's beautiful.
The target of my sights, he's unaware of this beauty.
In turn he rolls his way through an unplanned and inevitable routine, and I watch in the shadows of my mind, hoping and wishing that reality would wave another color and sleep for just a moment.
My hands would be ready.
My speech would be perfect.
I'd approach the subtle perfections of his chest and massage them openly with my confidence, brush his long blond hair with my hand and inform him of his magnificence.
He'd love me.
He'd adore me.
He would forever take me in, accept me as I am and reciprocate the ways in which he matters, taunting me forever in the vaults of my mind. In the perfect harmony of trust, my pet would grant me the gift of holding him without fear.
My victory unspoken.
My victory melancholy.
Reality pipes his commanding views in front of me
Reality is a mockery of something that could have been great.
He's so sexy, it's unbearable.
He's so amazing, I can't stand it.
My hands shake, control threatens to leave me.
My hands calm and again I watch him stumble, alone, sad, and awake only in the context of insatiable desires. I want him; to crawl deep into his brain and bleed with him for all the ways he should never feel this rejection that I do.
My heart aches, but alone I stand outside.
My heart aches, but I can never hold him.
He's my victory, the part of my day that completes the screams and shrieks of this lonely life.
He's my distraction, the modest reality show unrehearsed and vibrantly calm.
I'm his nothing, and forever I'll only exist the outside longing to touch him.
I'm his stalker, and he'll never understand the pain of knowing that can never change.
In the end, I return to my small palace of consistent failure but dreams of him do pour.
In the end, my hands still shake but the memories endure.
The perfect lines of his face tattooed into my head; the waves of golden welcome, and the eyes of total comfort.
His loneliness, it haunts me until he hunts again.
His loneliness is power, and I watch him in addiction long after I've left his window.
And like before, his girls they bleed so quickly on my blade. Never substantial for such perfection, they die so sadly unaware of these consequences, unaware that such beauty should be rewarded and never to be taken advantage of.
My heart trembles, I slide my hand across my table.
My heart aches for all those things we'll never be together.
Silver shines and precisely I begin my art. I wrap her arms in reddened cellophane to symbolize the romance. Her fingers shine in shades of glowing red, but those fingers were never adequate- couldn't take the swollen strands of his hair and hold them with adoration. This hand was never pressed against his cheek, declaring his spectacular lines.
A red ribbon seals the evil. I wrap the silk around this tale.
A red tear drops from my eyes. A seven pound arm mocks me with her history, touch I'll never feel. My jealousy demands, but calmly I place the limb on my grandfather's sturdy desk, aside the collection. Other parts, different colors of history, different colors of strategic cellophane- the presentation is glorious. A useless girlfriend in life becomes a vibrant bouquet in death. Leftover is no part, no love and no remorse. Just the single strap of red.
A red ribbon is weaved into my hair, a bow around my tired ponytail. |
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COMMENTS:
Rated on: May 22, 2009 3:11am by goldskeletonIt's 3am and I was looking for just the right distraction to lull me to an uneasy sleep. Now your story is buried alive in the shallow grave of my brain... screaming. It soothes me.
Rated on: February 23, 2009 4:34pm by brunrn1It sounds like we have alot in common!! :)
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